6 months

Its hard to believe that 6 months have passed (September 5 is the official 6 month mark) since I lost my best friend. In some ways, it seems like eternity but other ways it feel like just yesterday. Going to NY for the softball tournament was my first trip home since the funeral. Traveling with Jessica made it a little easier but it honestly didn't hit me until the morning of the tournament. My dad told me he still remembered the summer before when him, Chris and I went to Oswego to reminisce and then we went to the Oswego Races. I burst into tears as soon as he said it. My dad felt so bad but he had forgotten that it had been exactly a year before. It was hard at the softball field because as soon as Chris's mom saw me, she cried and of course I teared up too. After I got through that moment, I felt better. I could feel his presence with me all day and that gave me the peace I needed. But unfortunately, it really hit me that night at Keddy's. The last time I was there, I was with Chris and no matter what I did, I couldn't relax and have fun. So I left and I cried all the way home, went into the house and my dad held me as I cried. New York just isn't the same without Chris. If my parents ever move away from there, there will be nothing to take me back there.

Chris-you were my best friend and I will carry you in my heart always. The moment I found out you died, a piece of my heart died with you. I will never again take any of my relationships with family and friends for granted. Life is too short and your death confirmed that. I feel you with me on a daily basis and more times than none, I wish I could pick up the phone and call you but of course you will never answer again. You're in my heart always, I will love you forever.