One Year Already

I can hardly believe that it has been a year since my friend, Brandon died. In some ways it seems like yesterday and other days it seems longer. The first year was hard and I thought a lot about his family especially around the holidays and his birthday and they are in my thoughts and prayers today as well. I am sure it has been a difficult day for them and I hope God gives them peace. The first year is always difficult and hopefully it will get easier as time goes on. When I went to see Zach over Memorial Day, it brought back memories of Brandon because that was the last time I saw him before the accident last year. At least now I can remember the good times without crying and I will cherish that always.

When I found out Brandon had died, all I kept thinking was unfair it was to lose a friend, that is not how its supposed to happen at my age. I never thought I would have to experience that again but unfortunately, 9 months later I did. It has only been 3 months since Chris died and I still feel like it was yesterday. I can now honestly say I know exactly how Zach felt when Brandon died, they were close like Chris and I were. Zach told me the first 6 months were the hardest for him and it has gotten easier, I hope he is right. I know my first trip to NY will be very difficult. I am not looking forward to that and I am putting it off as long as possible but I know I can't avoid it forever. Friends and family are having a memorial baseball tournament for him in August and I want to go but I don't know if my heart can handle it. But I will do it for Chris because that is what he would have done for me. I do believe that Chris is in Heaven and he is watching over me. I was really upset recently and asked him to give me a sign that he was ok and all of a sudden I could feel his presence in my room. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. I felt at peace as soon as I felt him and it made me realize he is okay and he is my angel watching over me from heaven.

To Brandon and Chris-I miss you guys but you're both always in my heart, see you again someday:)